7 07 2008

I don’t know how to write this blog today. Why? Because I want to celebrate the 35th wedding anniversary of my wife and I today, yet I’m not keen on focusing on us! However it’s a good thing to celebrate. I’m aware that I feel bad about writing this because I’m aware that there are lots of people out there for whom marriage has not been a blessing and I don’t want to tread on their toes. However, there may be someone who might be encouraged to stick at it after they read what I’ve got to say.

Today we looked back over 35 years that, for the vast majority of the time, have been brilliant. Yes, there have been times when it was less than that and on one occasion I walked the streets deliberating whether we had a future – but we had and have. We have three wonderful kids and now three wonderful grandchildren. In one sense I think we are both people-people but when it comes down to it, we enjoy each other’s company far more than anyone else’s – and I think that’s how it should be. We delight in the kids being around and when we’re with friends, but she is my best friend and I’m hers (she said it!)

When we first went out, her most common words were, “I’m not sure.” and so for the first years of our lives together I had to bring reassurance to her. I often tell my congregation, “Tell your partner you love them – and do it often.” – and I do. She needs to hear that, and I believe all partners need to. I’m pretty rubbish with the flowers thing, but we go out together often, whether it is shopping, browsing or just walking. I wouldn’t want to hold anyone else’s hand – and certainly not do anything more! I’m committed to this girl and she to me. Her love has transformed me and I suspect my love has transformed her – I believe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Nagging never does anyone any good – but love transforms.

I want to be there to share her joys and to hold and comfort her when she’s struggling – that’s what I’m there for.  We share virtually everything but I think we’re still very much individuals. My biggest fear is that one day she might go to heaven before me and I dread the thought of the incredible hole there will be in my life – love can be painful, very!  We sing together, laugh together, and feel serious together. She tells me off and I tell her off, but that isn’t condemnation. I’m there for her and she’s there for me. We say sorry to one another when it’s necessary. I’m incredibly grateful to God that he designed us so that we can enjoy another person so much.  We look at flowers together, shoo the magpies away together, pick up tired bumble bees together. She looks after the plants indoors and I look after the plants out doors. I can tell her when I don’t think her clothes are suitable because only with such honesty will she know I mean it when I compliment her – which I do often.  She tells me when she thinks I look a scruff! In a day when marriage isn’t fashionable I’m just grateful that we’ve had a good experience. It’s been a good thirty five years and it’s worth the effort. Why does it work? Well I think from my perspective it’s because I’ve decided to always work on the “how can I bless my wife today?” principle, and I’ve got a feeling she works similarly for me. Is it perfect? Of course not! But it is good.




One response

6 09 2008
Bookmarks about Anniversary

[…] – bookmarked by 3 members originally found by andersons60 on 2008-08-14 Anniversary – bookmarked by 2 members originally […]

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